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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29028243">Behind Those Eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_Ann28/pseuds/Alex_Ann28'>Alex_Ann28</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All Elite Wrestling, Professional Wrestling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:49:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29028243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_Ann28/pseuds/Alex_Ann28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Your eyes are like windows to your soul. They shine and bedazzle as the stars do in the sky! They are like diamonds that mesmerize the person looking at them. When I look into your eyes, I keep on looking at them. I can't ever stop looking at them. Your eyes speak volumes to me in unsaid words...” Sweet and caring Kenny Omega is on the path of becoming, once more, Cleaner, Kenny Omega, ruthless and cold. When he ends up loosing not only himself but those he cares about more than anything will he do what it takes to find them again? Is he going to be lose himself because he's being manipulated or will his family be there for him before it's too late?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kenny Omega/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't really know that much about Japan Kenny Omega so perhaps some things might be wrong but for the sake of the story pretend they are right. Also, each chapter will be based on a sentence or specific part of some songs about eyes. It might sound weird but I've always believe eyes speak louder than words can. The lyric to the song used to inspire the chapter will be post at the beggining of each 6 chapter. Name of the song will be posted as a end note of each chapter as well. I hope this all makes sens.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>There's something I can't see</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There's something different in the way you smile<br/>
Behind those eyes you lie<br/>
And there's nothing I can say<br/>
'Cause I'm never gonna change your mind<br/>
Behind those eyes you hide </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Another night were uncertainty is eating me alive. Something in the way he's acting that I've seen with my own eyes before making me fear the worst. Watching him, without the outfit matching the attitude, reminded me of Japan. The Cleaner, the man who would leave a path of destruction wherever he went, not only in the ring but in so many of our lives behind closed doors as well. It almost destroy us last time and I have no doubt that it would be even worse now. The reason to why is quite simple. I've been seeing the signs happen for a while and when I try to tell him about it he just brush it off like it was nothing, like I was going crazy, in his own words. I know sooner than later we would implode, like he did with Adam before, like he will inevitably do with the Bucks at some point, just like he always did. Once again a very simple reason, Don Callis. I've seen the way he acts, hiding himself to text or to make phone call, the segment after Dynamite on his phone saying they would meet soon. Surely I haven't seen Don around our house or around here but I know it's coming. Everything is clear, to me, to everybody around, yet he still thinks we're stupid and that we don't see the sign. The first sign was immediately after loosing the tag team title. The way he would act on commentary, cutting Adam out of his life, on screen of course, but the words he would say, the way he would act, he couldn't have scream it louder even if he tried. The second sign was , weirdly, they way they do his entrance now. Different from when he was in a team with Hangman. Thing is, I've known him for years, we've known him for years so he can't fool any of us, not when his eyes are speaking on their own. I've always believed that eyes will tell you everything you want to know about a person and sadly, in Kenny's case, they speak more than he probably wants them too. Eyes will always say more, in my book, that words will ever be able to.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I sit in his locker room before his match with Moxley observing his every moves but trying, from my position, to read his eyes. I hate what I'm seeing unfold in front of my own. Not his nervousness because, even if he's the best wrestler in the world, he always is nervous before a match, championship one or not. No, I hate what I am seeing because his usual, alive, beautiful, shinny, dreamy, warm and playful ocean blue eyes are now a mix between looking mischievous yet almost empty, lifeless and most importantly dangerously cold. The man, now staring back at me, isn't the man I once fall in love with and I know that it's a very dangerous though to entertain right now but it isn't far from the truth. I'm seeing the change happening in front of my eyes and I feel like no matter what I do I just can't stop it from happening all over again. Will the weeks, months, hell even maybe years of this part of him coming back to life be worth all the emotional pain it will put all of us through again? Looking at him right now, I'm starting to think they won't.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For the first time since arriving here I can see the conflict emotions in his eyes as he stares at me. I can almost hear the voices in his head because they speak so loud. What breaks my heart is how loud his eyes are screaming for me. Their shouting the words that he won't allow to get past his lips. Right now, from what I'm understanding from them, it's an almost helpless plea of help me please. Still, I can also read through his eyes the darkness calling him. I can see, easily, that the darkness is winning the war against the light. I feel my heart shatter at the view knowing damn well that there is nothing I can do but watch. I could try to talk to him again, try to ease his mind but by the shift that occur in his eyes at the moment and the difference in his smile, I know that this would be a lost cause. I do love him with all my heart but having experience it before, the pain it will cause, I'm not sure I want to be there for it. I'll have too, just like last time, watch his downfall happen without saying a word, without being able to kiss the pain away every night. I will, from far away, absolutely powerless watch him destroy himself without being able to do anything about it. I could stay, I know I could but it could end up killing us both, figuratively or not, it's something I'm even afraid to find out. Would I be there for him when he can't take it anymore and when it gets too much for him to handle? Absolutely, I know we all would, but did I want to be there for when he's in complete power and destroying everything around him? Answer, as heartbreaking as it is, is no.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A knock on the door kick both of us out of our inner battle signaling for Kenny that his match with Moxley would start in 5 minutes. He stands up, his usual ring attire on his body but not without glancing down at what's laying across the table. I look down noticing it for the first time. It's very clear to me that once he walks out that door, the man coming back won't be the same. I can feel the leather gloves and the aviators almost laughing at me as I stare at them an emptiness filling my chest. The leather jacket laying across the couch is another sign but I can feel it almost looking at me in a sorry way. Who knew lifeless object could be screaming so loud. I know and he knows that somehow this is where everything changes. I stand up facing him as he pulls me into a tight embrace. I hug him back equally tight afraid to let him go but knowing I don't really have a choice. He pulls back his eyes, speaking at high volume. I can see the conflict emotions in them, now he seems more like the man I've fallen in love with all those years ago. They are trying to scream an I love you follow by an I'm sorry. Here I am, hoping, that my own eyes are telling him that I understand because I do not trust my own voice to say it out loud. He press a slow, passionate kiss against my lips that I don't hesitate to return the gesture putting, I hope, every unspoken words into each lips movement. Unspoken words of, I wish I could do more, I'm sorry I won't be there when you return, I love you with everything I have and everything I am but most importantly, when it gets to much and you think you're falling alone, I'll be there to catch you because this is how much I love you. He pulls away, a sad smile decorating his handsome and usual cheerful face, as he place a soft kiss against my forehead while I try to hold back the tears at the gesture knowing damn well this is the last affectionate moment we will share. He stands in front of me, his previous conflict but clear blue eyes now void of emotions and darker that I've ever seen them. He backs away from me opening the door hesitating for a few seconds.</p><p> </p><p>'' Goodbye my love, I hope it will all be worth it in the end'' I tell him before he closes the door behind him shattering my heart in a million small pieces.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I sit down on the couch as the match start already hating what I'm seeing with Don on commentary. My fears are true, this is the end of sweet, shy and lovable Kenny Omega as dark, evil Cleaner will take over. I watch the match in disbelief. Everything went south quick, from Don interference, the cheating, the win, everything about this feels so wrong and it makes me feel almost dirty just watching it. I knew deep down it would end up that way, but in such a cowardly, none Kenny Omega way, it breaks my heart. The New Japan Cleaner was ruthless but a coward, never. The darkness invading his once clear, ocean blue eyes, dragging him further down than I ever expected. The difference this time around, Don Callis. I can't bare staying around to watch him get destroy by such a manipulative man. As he runs away with Don, the last small flicker of hope I had is running away with him, I stand up, grab all of my things from around the locker room and left. Heartbreak is following me with every steps I take and every steps I will take in the weeks, perhaps months to come, but I know where I am heading. I take a deep breath reaching a way too familiar door and knock on it hoping it wouldn't end up with it being close in my face. It opens a few seconds later a part of concern, worried yet understanding brown eyes looking back at me. The door open wider allowing me in, a warmness almost spreading through my body unfreezing the parts that Kenny cold eyes froze. Two pairs of strong arms wrap around me in a very much needed embrace because now we will need each other more than we ever did.</p><p> </p><p>'' I'm so sorry. I didn't know where else to go but I had to leave. I couldn't stand there watching him destroy himself because of him'' I tell them in between sobs.</p><p> </p><p>'' The door is always open for family Alex''</p><p> </p><p>'' We're here and we are not going anywhere. We will get through this together and we will be there for him when he needs up to pull him out of the darkness''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>We would, together, along with Adam, wherever he is, have to deal with the lost of our best friend, the lost of a family member. Obviously it's not a literal lost but something worse, in my eyes, loosing someone when they let darkness consume them might be one of the worst thing ever because there is nothing we can do. We will all have to stand there, helpless, watching someone we love allow himself to be destroy by someone that pretends to love him, someone that pretends to understand, pretends to care but someone that would never truly do understand him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>We just stand there holding each other the look in our respective eyes speaking so loudly. The silence surrounding us just echoing their scream. We sit together, Adam joining the brother Jackson and I not so long after. Surely on screen they aren't in the same team anymore but once the camera are off, we are family, we love each other more than anything and despite what people think we will always have each others back, tonight being no different. Everybody is silent but I can tell everybody's feeling of helplessness by the situation just eating us alive.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Why can't he just see how much all of this will hurt me, his friends and himself even? Why does he let Don just use him and manipulate him again? Why can't he just see and understand? Why is it that the best damn wrestler in the world is doubting himself so badly that he rely on someone like Don Callis to help him instead of us? Why can't he just see how wonderful and amazing he is? Why does he need someone so evil to get him what he wants instead of just fighting for it fairly knowing damn well he can defeat Jon Moxley on his own? The next few weeks, months, hopefully not year will be painful for all of us but I hope the memories will be enough to help us, but mainly him, survive this mayhem. He will have to fight against someone who will manipulate him into believing he is better without us, those who truly care, who truly love him. He will need to fight this darkness on his own, fight to reach the light, fight to join us on the other side of this endless tunnel. Kenny Omega will need to fight for his life, with no one left to help him but himself. Here's to hoping it won't end up drowning him.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is based on the song Behind Those Eyes by 3 doors down. Give it a listen if you don't know it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter will be in Kenny POV.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>No one knows what it's like<br/>To be the bad man<br/>To be the sad man<br/>Behind blue eyes<br/>And no one knows what it's like<br/>To be hated<br/>To be fated to telling only lies</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>2 weeks, it's been 2 weeks now that she left, that I let her leave my life. 2 weeks of pure, I'm not even sure how to describe it. I've tried at some point voicing my confused thoughts out loud to Don but every time he told me that this was fine. That I finally have everything I've ever wanted, the title. Why does a part of me feel so empty? I mean he's right. I've sacrifice everything and apparently every one for this title belt. I'm so far into this why not embrace it? So this is what I'm going to do or try to do. Become the other part of me that they, or well the fans, want to see. Ruthless, heel Kenny Omega.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I see them backstage, my friends, people I once called a family just being there for each other, the way I once was and the way I would probably never be again but this is what I've wanted, this is what I needed to do to be where I am right now. I can hear in my head, as I am backstage, alone, the words that Don keeps repeating to me for the past 14 days. <em>You are the most talked about wrestler in the entire world, you are Kenny freaking Omega, the AEW World Champion. You've work so hard your entire life to be on top of the world and now it's finally your time. Nothing or no one should come between you and your dreams. Show them you were made for this. Show them why you are the best bout machine, why you are the best damn wrestler in the world. You are Kenny Omega and they are nothing. </em>He's right, I am Kenny Omega and they're not.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Today, as another Dynamite is unfolding, nothing would be different. The title belt will be resting on my shoulder or around my waist, Don will be standing by my side helping me focus, helping me forget about every one and everything else. I matter, they don't. Right now however, half dressed up, I'm standing in front of the mirror in my new, almost too empty and cold, locker room. Empty of love, of laughter, of feeling like I belong, just empty, like my heart and like the eyes of the man staring back at me. Two distinct voices in my head. One, repeating similar words as Don. <em>This is what you've wanted, you are meant to be on top of the world. They don't understand, they don't belong by your side. You don't need them. You have everything you need right now. </em>The other voice, the one similar to the one I used to have before I put the glasses back on 2 weeks ago. <em>Why are you doing this to her, to them, to yourself. Is being lonely at the top really that great? Did you really have to push them away to succeed? Could you have done things differently? You need them, they need you. Is the fame really that important to you that you'd rather loose the people that care about you and that most importantly love you? Is it really all worth it? </em>I close my eyes hoping the voices would calm down.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A part of me will admit that I hate the way my eyes look right now. Empty, darker and completely different from how they used to look. Usually they are so bright and so alive that, if you look closely enough, you can almost see the stars shinning into them. Right now however, all I see is the reflexion of an <em><b>alone</b></em> man but with everything he wants, everything he ever hope for or so I think. Before I could lost myself deeper into these thoughts a knock on the door interrupt my inner battle.</p><p> </p><p>'' Come in''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Don peeks his head through the door staring at me with his usual million dollar smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>'' It's time Kenny, let's do this. Let's show the world the star you are. Let's show them why you are the best wrestler alive. Let's go champ''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I take a deep breath putting the rest of my disguise on. The aviators. A perfect way to hide everything that's really happening in my head. Nobody can see through them unless I let them and I am way too smart to let them come too close Along with the glasses, a perfectly heel smirk appearing on my lips. A perfect look complete by a heel champion outfit. A pair of jeans with a blue t-shirt and a white, unbutton, blazer over it all of that accompany by the oh so famous, yet oh so Kenny Omega messy two tones curl on my head. I take a second to look at myself in the mirror being conflicted still by what or who's staring back at me. This isn't fully me yet but I know I have to do what it takes to become <em>him</em> again. After all I'm all I have left. I exit my locker room finding Don waiting for me on the other side.</p><p> </p><p>'' Let's get going superstar''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As usual for the past 2 weeks I see the 4 of them standing near the gorilla position. Nick and Matt watching over the show as EVP should be doing, Adam and Alex by their side and, even if he wasn't with us at the end of the Elite journey, Cody, standing not too far behind. As we step closer to them I could feel the warm atmosphere turn icy cold. Something similar to the winter we have in Winnipeg or something colder if I am truly honest with myself.. I know I'm to blame for this but right now I don't care, I can't care. The smiles are gone from every faces around, not only my former family but everybody's else too. It's like the time have stop and, at some point, I felt like my heart did too. Could I really have caused all of this? Could I really be the reason for their unhappiness right now? <em>Focus Kenny you can't think about that now. They don't understand and they don't matter. </em>As I pass in front of all of them, I notice, behind my aviators, different reactions. Cody is pretending like he doesn't know what's happening but I know a part of him would just like to smack me behind the head and ask me what the fuck I'm doing. Nick, just looks a little pissed and mostly like a disappointed little brother that saw the man he looked up to do something stupid that made him regret ever wanting to be like them. Which, if I allow myself to admit it, hurts. Matt looks like he's about to scream at me and, if I'm honest, like he would LOVE to knock , or perhaps more like super kick some sens into me for being such an idiot. I also notice him just shooting dagger through Don back. I don't know if he's planning to jump him and beat him senseless but one thing for sure if looks could kill I have no doubts the two of us would be dead by now. Adam is standing beside Alex looking uncomfortably between her and I unsure of what to do. I know he's been avoiding me since we split, rightfully so, I haven't really been the most supportive person toward him lately and I know that, everybody knows that. One thing from their interaction that capture my attention is the way he's wrapping his arms, almost protectively, around her. I unsure if it's because he's afraid she's going to run away or break down crying. At that I could, almost, <em><b>almost</b></em>feel the jealousy growing inside of me but I had to remind myself that this is all my doing. What broke me however is how she's looking. Press up and all tense into Adam an arm tightly wrap around his waist, as if she's trying to hide or find some kind of comfort I used to be able to provide her with. All of this while her head is leaning partly against his chest. She isn't looking in my direction but instead toward the ground at her feet. A part of me knows she's avoiding me and I can understand why. Part of me is also, selfishly, relief she can't look at me because I'm not sure I could handle her catlike green eyes looking sadly toward me. Worst, she could look at me with a downcast look and I'm sure that I wouldn't be able to handle it. All I've ever truly wanted ever since we met and when we <em><b>were</b></em> together is for her to be proud of me, disbelief, from her, in my actions is not something my heart would be able to survive. I am standing, my back facing each of them, painfully aware of all of their eyes on me, burning holes through my body, if that was possible. I had to focus on the words in my head, the lies I keep repeating myself, almost like a mantra to survive this unbearable moment. <em>You don't need her, you don't need any of them. You are better of without them. You are Kenny Freaking Omega. </em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The first few notes of the ''Cleaner Girl'' song start playing signaling that I quickly needed to get back into this heel space of mind. I took a deep breath moving toward my position in the entrance tunnel. I hear the Battle Cry, being scream now loudly in the arena. The curtain falling on the ground but my new persona embracing me tightly whispering that everything would be okay into my ear. I had to believe it. I have nothing left but this, if this doesn't work out I will be on my own with nobody by my side but the shadow of loneliness following me around. The segment went normally well but I feel like a part of me blanked out for most of it. We went backstage once everything was over seeing, yet trying to ignore the sad, disappointed look from my friends, from the people who once, <em><b>perhaps still do</b></em>, matter the most. I return to my locker room the <em><b>emptiness</b></em> filling my mind, heart and soul. That emptiness could be reflected in those darker ocean blue eyes of mine and if I am honest with myself, I deeply hate it but I could never tell anyone that. All I have to do now is what I do best, keep lying to them but mostly to myself. <em>I don't need them. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This Chapter is based on the song Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit (yes I know their version is a cover but I enjoy it more than the original.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Seems like just yesterday<br/>You were a part of me<br/>I used to stand so tall<br/>I used to be so strong<br/>Your arms around me tight<br/>Everything, it felt so right<br/>Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong</p><p>Now I can't breathe<br/>No, I can't sleep<br/>I'm barely hanging on</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex POV</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For a month now it's been flashback, over heartbreak, over sleepless nights with a pinch of constant pain. It's been a month since this fairytale with Kenny ended in this sort of silent, almost mutual, agreement. Well agreement could be the wrong word to explain it but it was the decision that made the most sens at the time. Both of us knew we couldn't have a relationship when Kenny is so far gone from being himself and so far away from the man I fell in love with in the first place. Knowing that fact didn't make it any less painful.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ever since I move out from Kenny and I home in Orlando, I've been living with Adam traveling with him to the show so I could hang out with him, Nick and Matt as well, sometimes Brandi and Cody while just try to forget about everything. Thing is Adam and I have known each other since our early teenage years and he is actually the reason why I met the rest of the guys and the reason why Kenny and I got together in the first place. Of course I know he would never mention it but he's probably blaming himself for what's happening now. If he voiced that though out loud I would be the first one to deny it because he simply isn't. When in Jacksonville I would end up sharing a room with Adam which is something nobody ever question about because we've been friends forever. Everybody, including us, knows that we are just best friends and would never be anything more. Of course, I have eyes and I know Adam is a very attractive and wonderful person all around and we've tried dating before but it just didn't work out. Adam is not only my best friend but also like a brother to me and I would even go as far as saying he's like my guarding angel. We find in each other the comfort, familiarity and reassurance, especially right now, that we can't find in other people. Despite being with Kenny for so long, that friendship with Adam never changed and it never would. Nobody mind it and it's just part of who we are as a group now. Tonight, after yet another Dynamite, I find myself in Adam and I share hotel room sitting on the edge of my bed staring at the infinite emptiness in front me matching the one inside my heart. Turns out tonight would be yet another sleepless night. I turn looking at the time realizing it's 2am. I notice my roommate being asleep in his bed looking so damn comfortable. I get up trying not to make any noises so I wouldn't wake him up, knowing he also struggle with sleep, I would hate myself if I end up disturbing him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I grab one of Nick's burrow, stolen, hoodie and put it on as well as a pair of shoes. Knowing I wouldn't sleep soon I thought going outside for some fresh air would be a good idea. I grab my room card and escape the room silently. Big mistake. Once the door close familiar voices filled the previously empty hotel hallways. I stop breathing and pray that the someone or something could make me disappear from this inevitable moment. Sadly nothing happen except the voices stopping when the people they belong to turn the corner. I slowly turn around pretending I didn't hear them. 4 pair of eyes were now looking my way. Karl and Luke who almost look uncomfortable by the situation. Kenny who, I'm not even sure what he's feeling and the asshole who started all of this a smirk on his lips while the rest of them were almost neutral. It's obvious to anybody who would look from far away that 4 out of the 5 people involved in this moment would rather not be here but obviously the other one had a very different idea. I start moving toward Karl side, not Kenny, so I could pass them and go outside as I had plan but a strong hand on my arm stop me from going further.</p><p> </p><p>'' Alex it's been a while''</p><p> </p><p>'' I suggest you let go of my arm right now or so help me I will wipe that fucking smirk from that stupid face of yours'' I told him venom obvious in every words.</p><p> </p><p>'' Yeah?''</p><p> </p><p>'' Don let the girl go for fuck sake'' I look up silently thanking Karl with a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>'' Fine, I was just trying to be nice with little Alex over here''</p><p> </p><p>'' As if you're capable of being nice to anybody but yourself''</p><p> </p><p>'' Now that's not true. I mean I've been nice enough to get Kenny a world title right? I thought you would be happy your boyfriend is world champion and this is what I get. Not very nice of you Alex'' I clench my fist hard at the words before looking back up at Don.</p><p> </p><p>'' Given him? You mean stolen from Jon. Your little manipulation game might work on him but it's not going to work on me. You might think he owes you something, you might think you know him well enough but you are wrong. We, I know him better than you could ever dream of. You're nothing and nobody Don. YOU need Kenny to be somebody while he doesn't need you and he never will. Perhaps one day he'll realize that and guess what we'll be there for him while you will, once again, end up all alone. I have more care about Kenny in my pinky finger than you do in your entire body. So no I'm not planning to be nice to an evil cowardly little bitch like you. I'm telling you Don, when this is all over I'll slap that motherfucking smirk of your face as I proudly smile at you screaming in your face I told you so.''</p><p> </p><p>'' All cute threaten me like that but you're wrong, I love Kenny more than you ever will''</p><p> </p><p>'' Yeah want to ask him that now or are you scared of the answer? Oh by the way, it's not a treat, it's a fucking promise you piece of shit'' I say getting into his face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I feel a soft hand on my arm. I turn around my eyes soften when I see Karl trying to stop everything. Before any other words could be said a door open in the hallway.</p><p> </p><p>'' What the hell is going on here?'' I hear the tired voice of Adam say behind me. <em>Shit</em></p><p> </p><p>'' The more to the party the better''</p><p> </p><p>'' Alex are you okay?'' he says completely ignoring that bald head idiot.</p><p> </p><p>'' Fine. I was heading outside because I couldn't sleep but at the unfortunate pleasure of bumping into him''</p><p> </p><p>'' You should have wake me up''</p><p> </p><p>'' Oh, did the pretty Alex already replace Kenny with poor little broken Hangman Page? Two broken people finding comfort with each other it all make sens now. Perhaps we'll ask Tony to put that on TV or you could ask a favor to the Bucks Kenny and put it on BTE. I'm sure the fan would enjoy the tear jerker story that it would provide them. Two useless people drop by Kenny because he knew he deserves better than them. Now sweetheart, you dare say I don't love Kenny as much as you do. Please allow me to doubt that'' I hear another door open but pay it no attention as I reply.</p><p> </p><p>'' Now see, that's where you are wrong. I am not dating Adam and not replacing Kenny. It's call caring if you weren't such a manipulative piece of shit you would, perhaps, know what it means but I doubt you ever will. You need to brainwash people to make them become what you want, to make them love you, to make them care about you. You need to make them become something they aren't or something they don't like for them to even think about being associate with you. This is where you and I differ and this is why we, I will always be better for Kenny than you ever will. I care for him more than words can say. I feel empty, lost, heartbroken since I let him walk out of this fucking building with you but who was I to stop him from living his dream? I can't sleep, I barely eat, I'm suffocating when I know he's near by because I can't hold him or talk to him or tell him I love him like I wish I could all because of you. So don't you dare talk about what you don't understand because news flash it won't end up well for you''</p><p> </p><p>'' I also suggest you be very careful with how you continue that conversation because she might have enough decency to not throw you through that wall right now but I'm not sure I do'' I hear the angry voice of one Matt Jackson say. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I feel two arms wrap tightly around my waist, one on each side, belonging to the Jackson brothers. I feel another warm sensation on my back realizing that Adam just stood closer to us. Nothing could stop us now and for the first time in a month, surrounded by my family, I almost feel, <em>happy</em>.</p><p> </p><p>'' Don let's go. You said what you had to say'' Luke say trying to reason with him.</p><p> </p><p>'' But...''</p><p> </p><p>'' No but you've done more than enough as it is. Get the fuck out of our faces before you regret it'' Says Nick.</p><p> </p><p>'' This isn't over''</p><p> </p><p>'' You're damn right it's not over. See you at the finish line asshole'' add Adam.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I turn around Nick and Adam moving with me but no sign of Matt. I turn around again looking in his direction Matt standing inches away from Kenny's unreadable face.</p><p> </p><p>'' Look at what you're letting happen Kenny. I thought you cared about us, about her. What happen to being a family? What happen to always having each other back? Why did you turn your back on us, on her? Out of all people, why would you end up leaving her? How can you be so remorseful about all of this? You're better than this Kenny and you deserve better than this''</p><p> </p><p>'' Matt'' I softly call out to him trying to stop my voice from breaking.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He turns around the anger in his gaze leaving completely when his eyes landed on me. He walks toward us and enter Adam and I's room follow by his brother and Adam. I stand in the doorway looking at Kenny as he looks back at me his aviators serving as walls between us.</p><p> </p><p>'' I'm sorry Kenny, for everything but I meant everything I said. In the end, when you've had enough of all of this or if you end up looking for the place you belong, we'll all be right here with our arms wide open ready to welcome you home. We... I love you Kenny Omega''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I can feel he wants to say something in return but he stops himself when his new friends call out his name. For a brief second, in that smile, different from the one we've seen in the past few weeks, I know my Kenny is back, but the walls around him are so impenetrable that he ends up leaving without a word. I sigh before joining the boys in the room. The second the door close 3 pair of strong arms wrap around me as I break down in tears, the accumulation of the sleepless night and the event of tonight just hitting me in full force. For minutes we stand there just holding onto each other letting the pain travel silently between us. Needless to say that nobody manage to sleep but the 4 of us still lay in the same bed holding to one another just silently healing ourselves or as much as we could.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even if the words I said to Don made me feel hope, tonight, for the first time ever since all of this started, I'm not so sure the man I love will ever return to me. Quite honestly, I have no idea how I will deal with that and I am very much unsure if I even want to. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is based on Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson so give it a listen if you don't know it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is in Kenny POV</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Tell her you don't love her<br/>And tell her you don't care<br/>And tell her you don't need her<br/>And you don't miss her there<br/>And give her that cold shoulder<br/>And say you've never cried<br/>Just look her in the eye and lie </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>2 months away from my family, away from the woman I love and not a day goes by where I don't miss them. I would never admit it to anyone, hell I could barely admit it to myself. I also know that I couldn't speak to Don about it or Luke because they wouldn't understand. They never cared about The Bucks, Adam or Alex they just pretend all along. That left Karl but I could rarely speak to him because they other two were often around. I know Karl always had a soft spot for Alex and I know he would tell me how to deal with all of this without loosing anyone but I still had doubts it was the best idea. After all, I had everything I've wanted now right? If I did, why do I feel so fucking lost and so empty inside? 2 months of constant lying and pretending. 2 months where I bottle up all those feelings inside. I know it wasn't healthy but I didn't, sadly, really trust anyone to let them be known. 2 months of pain and tears but I couldn't let anybody see it. Many nights where I stay wide awake my phone in my hands my thumb hovering over the call button over Nick, Matt, Adam, hell even Cody's name but most of the time it was over her name. Many times I almost call them just to check and see how they are doing, to see if they miss me as much as I miss them. Don always said that I was better off without them but I doubt it, we've, for as long as I can remember, always had each others back and ending up alone like that, I didn't know what to do. Even when that happen in Japan it lasted at best a month before we found our way back to each others so why was it so different this time? Were they feeling as miserable as me? Were they happier or sadder than me? Did they spent sleepless nights thinking about me and how I'm doing? Did they wanted to see me again? Were they done with me? Do they miss what we used to be? Does she miss waking up into my arms the way I miss having her in them? Is she finally realizing that she can do better than me, that she deserves better than me? Does she silently cry to herself every time she goes to sleep the way I do? I'm really hoping, that unlike me, she isn't alone and that she has someone watching over her and comforting her when needed. I have no doubts that the boys are by her side almost 24/7 but a part of me just wish she never had to need anyone to hold her due to my selfishness. I couldn't and would never blame her for leaving. I know that when I become the Cleaner, I'm not someone fun to be around. Don, Luke and Karl seems to disagree with that statement but only because it's serving them in the end. One question I am left with for the past 8 weeks, why? Why did I give up everything and gave up on everyone I had for one damn title belt that I know I will end up loosing at some point anyway? Was it really all worth it? As the time flies by, my doubts grow bigger everyday.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Another Dynamite night, another match where the Bucks and the Good Brothers would have to face off in a segment after action stopped. The on-screen Bucks are trying to help me see that I'm being used, being manipulated by Don and by the Good Brothers. I am guessing real life Bucks are doing a lot of the talking in these segments over on screen Bucks. They care and I can see it shine through their eyes when we stand backstage or in the ring for our segments. They know more than they want to let out. They understand more than they want me to know they do. I also know that deep down there is so much more they want to say that they actually do. If I focus correctly I can see in Matt eyes the unspoken words he wish he could speak or scream out loud. <em>Wake up Kenny. What are you doing? Why are you doing this?</em> I can almost hear Nick softer and calmer voice whisper <em>we miss you, please come back to us, come back home</em>. If they were to say this out loud I am pretty sure I would just break, give up and return to them but I need to know that they want it, need it too before it ever happens. After all, a selfish and stupid part of me didn't want to end up all alone so giving up on Don and the Good Brothers wasn't an option if I am not sure someone is waiting to catch me on the other side. I don't really want to return to an empty home and no open arms to hold me as I apologize to each of them. What's the point of choosing myself and what I want in the situation if who and what I need isn't there to wait for me?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I wipe the tears away and focus my attention on something else because my match is soon and I can't show up with red rimmed puffy eyes. I put my outfit on, took one last look in the mirror before placing my aviator over my eyes. I take one last deep breath before leaving my locker room making my way straight to the entrance tunnel avoiding the disappointed looks I am receiving from mostly everybody backstage. I arrive seeing the Good Brothers and Don in strategy while, further backstage, I notice the Jackson brothers looking toward us as they stand next to our opponents for the nights, Moxley, Fenix and Archer. I try to ignore the pain being cause by the burning sensation of their gaze on me but I can feel my heart just breaking into more tiny pieces if possible. I have no doubt that if things ever return to how they used to be that my heart will require a lot of putting back together. I can feel, as I vaguely listen to my partners, my thoughts drift away from everything. I feel numb, empty and broken just standing there my thoughts about them just invading my mind. I can almost hear the whisper of a small voice in my head telling me that I deserve better than what I have now. Asking me why I'm destroying myself that way. I pay close attention to the what the voice is whispering the doubts returning in full force in my mind. Maybe she's right after all. Maybe I do deserve better but at the same time, I'm so far gone into this shit that I don't know how to pull myself out of it. I'm going to need a hand pulling mine so I can get myself out of this quicksand holding onto me tightly and bringing me closer every day to an inevitable drowning. The voice now, she's whispering something else. It takes me a while to realize it's not the voice in my head but an actual person talking to me. I look up noticing a worried look on Karl's face and an almost annoyed one on Don and Luke's face.</p><p> </p><p>'' Sorry, you were saying?''</p><p> </p><p>'' It's time. Focus we can't lose out there''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I roll my eyes hoping they wouldn't notice the motion behind the dark aviators decorating my face. A warm hand squeeze my shoulder in an almost affectionate way so I look and see Karl looking at me with an understanding look into his eyes. Before he could say anything my theme song blast into the arena and we made our way to the ring previous thoughts still present in my mind. I had about 2 minutes for it to just go away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Match went okay as we won. The Bucks came out after we initiate a beat down on our opponents for the night trying to stop us from doing it. It lead to an argue between the Jackson's and the Good Brothers as I stand in the middle trying to place peacemaker. Eventually everybody left for backstage.</p><p> </p><p>'' I'll meet you in your locker room in 5 minutes Kenny. You and I need to have a talk'' Karl tells me in a quiet voice. I nod in return making my way to my locker room letting the thoughts from earlier invade my mind once more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I turn the corner as a door close nearby. I look up my eyes landing on a too <em><b>familiar</b></em> and <em><b>beautiful</b></em> figure. <em><b>She</b></em> is standing right there a shock expression reaching her face when her eyes lands on me. Part of me just want to move forward and wrap her into a tight hug but I am unsure of the reaction I would get and a place like this, so in the open, might not be the best place for such a gesture.</p><p> </p><p>'' Hey'' I let out trying to keep my voice steady.</p><p> </p><p>'' Hey Kenny. You look... umm.. well'' She tells me a soft smile appearing on her lips.</p><p> </p><p>'' Yeah. So do you''</p><p> </p><p>'' Lying as never been a talent for you Kenny Omega but I'm glad you still care enough to not tell me I actually look like shit. Or am I wrong?''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Think Kenny think. The angel on my shoulder is telling me to tell her the truth, tell her how much I miss her, how much I love her and just hold her and kiss her like there is no tomorrow. The devil on my shoulder, Don voice in the back of my mind are telling me to just lie to her. <em>You're so far gone into this Kenny might as well embrace it</em>. So I did what I had to do, I turn into what or who I hate the most. I turn into the monster they made me.</p><p> </p><p>'' You're wrong. I don't care. I haven't felt this great in a while, being apart from you and the boys. I've never felt so free, so happy in years. I'm so glad I made the decision I made''</p><p> </p><p>'' You can't mean that Kenny'' She says coming one step closer to me and for a second my brain freeze but I manage to keep this walls up around me even if they are holding on by a thread.</p><p> </p><p>'' Sorry this might seems harsh to you but quite honestly I don't care''</p><p> </p><p>'' So he did get what he wanted all along after all. I thought you were smarter and better than this Kenny. I can't believe you are letting that two face asshole manipulate you into leaving everybody and everything that you once care about behind. I shouldn't have left you, not when I knew all of this would happen''</p><p> </p><p>'' But you did''</p><p> </p><p>'' And for what it's worth I am truly sorry'' She says squeezing my hand softly before letting it go and moving past me.</p><p> </p><p>Turn around idiot, run after her, do something once voice says. <em>No don'.t She's not worth it. You're better off without her.</em> Says the other.</p><p> </p><p>'' Kenny. Tell me, is there still hope for you and I to ever get back together or are we really done this time?'' She asks me her voice breaking as she speaks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I take a deep breath before turning around, thankful my aviators are still up and that she can't see into my undoubtedly teary eyes. She's standing inches away from me and I do everything in my power to not pull her into my arms.</p><p> </p><p>'' I'm afraid there isn't. We both made our choice. I'm happy with where I am and I just don't love you anymore, at least not the way I used too, you and I as a couple, this is done, for good'' I told her completely lying.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I watch as she struggles to keep it together but continue talking, afraid I'm going to break down in front of her and I can't let that happening.. As I speak, this time with more truth to my words, I'm hoping I can make it a little easier for both of us so I don't spend another sleepless night because of my own stupidity. So I continue.</p><p> </p><p>'' I really hope there will be a time where we can still be into each others life, if only as friends. I'm sorry this came to this I know neither of us wanted this but it happen, for the best of for the worst, future will tell us but right now this is where we stand. I would still like to wish you all the happiness in the world because I know you deserve it but it won't be with me. I am truly sorry Alex''</p><p> </p><p>'' I am sorry for everything too Kenny. I know I am equally to blame in all of this but I was serious the other day, if you ever need anything or you want to return home, we, I will be there with my arms wide open because you will always be a part of the family just like you will always be a part of me. I'm sorry I couldn't do and be better for you. I wish I had done more to save you from his path. Leaving you that night will always remain one of my biggest regret. If it's the way it ends for you and I then I am sorry but thankful for everything we had. I miss your smile, miss your face, miss your laugh, miss the way your arms feel around me and I miss the way those lips fit perfectly against mine but over everything I fucking miss you. If this is goodbye than I only have one thing left to say, I love you Kenny Omega and I always will. I hope you find what you are looking for and if the day should come where you return home, make sure someone hits me up because life without you just isn't the same'' She brushed a curl out of my face letting her fingers linger for a moment. She softly, with shaking fingers, caress my cheek and run her thumb softly against my bottom lip before stepping back letting the coldness from my heart envelop the rest of my body.</p><p> </p><p>'' Goodbye Kenny Omega'' She turns around before I even had a chance to reply.</p><p> </p><p>'' You my friend are a dumb ass. I fucking can't believe you''</p><p> </p><p>'' I know believe me. How long did you hear Karl?'' I say opening the door to my locker room as he follows me inside.</p><p> </p><p>'' From the moment she asked you if there was still hope for the two of you. Why are you letting the most amazing woman in the world slip through you fingers that way without doing anything about it?''</p><p> </p><p>'' But Don said...''</p><p> </p><p>'' If you believe anything he tells you than you are even more stupid than I ever possibly thought you could be''</p><p> </p><p>'' Don't hold it in'' I say sitting down on the couch</p><p> </p><p>'' I'm not planning on it. Now you listen to me and you listen closely. You shouldn't let that idiot rule your life Kenny. You shouldn't listen to anything he says. I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want you to respond to them inside your head, I don't want you to tell me what the answers are. Is it really worth it? Are the sleepless night on your own really worth? Ever since you've been champion have you achieve everything you've wanted? If the answer is yes ask yourself why you feel so empty inside and why you feel so lost? Why do you keep on suffering on your own when you have amazing friend and an amazing girlfriend waiting for you just a few feet away? You also think I don't notice the tears but I do, they might not but I do. Is the title belt you are holding really worth all the pain and loneliness? Is your life now everything you've hoped for? If the answer is no, ask yourself, what or who's missing? Once you have the answer to all those questions you will no what to do. For what it's worth, I still believe you are an idiot and that you are making a very big mistake letting her out of your life and letting them out of your life. If what you have right now is everything you want than good I'm happy for you but don't make the mistake of waking up in 10 years alone and miserable because of the mistake you're making today. Think about that brother. If you need to talk I'm always here but don't lose them and don't lose yourself, especially not for someone like Don Callis. You deserve better and it might be time for you to fucking start fighting to get it back''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He leaves my locker room leaving me with a new train of thought and a lot of answers to those questions. I don't know what the future holds but for the first time in a while, if I close my eyes, I can almost see small ray of light pierce through the darkness that is my life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is base on the song Look her in the eye and lie by Alan Jackson</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter will be in 3 different POV. It will be written when it will change. I really do hope it won't be too confusing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The anger swells in my guts<br/>And I won't feel these slices and cuts<br/>I want so much to open your eyes<br/>'Cause I need you to look into mine</em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">Alex POV</span>
</p><p> </p><p>6 months of pure pain and hell, heartbreak and tears. 6 months of suffering without being able to do anything. 6 months of hoping things would change. 6 months of hoping he would come back to us, home. 6 months of hoping for nothing. Surely I am in major emotional and mental pain but I can't help but let me thoughts wander to him. Wondering how his past 6 months have been feeling surrounded by someone that pretends to care, someone who just manipulates him. A part of me feels terrible that he's going through that. I keep thinking of how lonely he must feel every nights in his cold, dark, hotel room while I have my support system watching over me with almost every breath I take. There is also small moments where I don't feel bad for Kenny. After all this is what he wanted right? He's old enough to know what he's doing. A selfish, very small part of me, wants him to suffer for the way he's hurting all of us right now. 6 months of hurt but today, it's enough, I just can't keep going on that way. I'm backstage during a Dynamite show in Adam's locker room waiting for him to come back from his match. Just like 6 months ago my things are gather in front of me knowing this is the last time for a while that I will step into this world. I just can't stay around hoping one day he'll wake up and open his eyes and realize he's making a mistake. My level of hope is running out as the pain only grows stronger and I really need to get the hell out of here. A part of me wonders if I will end up regretting it and the small voice in my head is already giving me the answer to that but honestly, I have nothing to lose and try to find happiness again. I am wishing that, deep down, not seeing him for a while will do me some good or at least I really hope I am right even if the doubts are crawling all over my thoughts and heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I look up at the screen as I hear Ghost Town Triumph blasting into the arena and through the TV screen signaling that Adam just defeat his opponent. A little warmness spread through my heart for the first time in the past 6 months happy for my best friend. The warmness suddenly turn cold and the small smile I had on my face disappear when I realize it would be the last time I would see them for a while. I take a deep breath trying to get my feelings in line as the locker room door open the wide smile on Adam face leaving as soon as he sees the luggage. He closes the door behind him and I stand up stepping close to him.</p><p> </p><p>'' I'll miss you princess'' he says pulling me into a tight hug.</p><p> </p><p>'' I'll miss you too. I wish I was strong enough to continue staying around but watching him destroy himself more and more every week is becoming to hard to deal with. I am so sorry Adam'' I say pulling away slightly so I could look at him.</p><p> </p><p>'' You never need to apologize for choosing yourself Alex. You've lasted longer around here that I expected you too. Is there anything I can do for you before you leave?''</p><p> </p><p>'' No, not really. Just promise me one thing. Promise me you will keep on kicking ass out there. Promise me you will take care of yourself too. I know you are hurting from all of this and I really wish I could stay so you didn't have to be alone but I'm tired of hurting every time I see him''</p><p> </p><p>'' You shouldn't worry for my well being. Worry about yourself right now''</p><p> </p><p>'' Adam promise me you will take care of yourself. I've known you forever I know how you can get. Promise me you will call if you need me. I don't want to go away knowing that you will keep me in the dark when it comes to your own problems. I care deeply for you and I would hate myself even more if I ever find out you've been suffering while I am away. Promise me'' I told him squeezing one of his hands softly as tears form into my eyes.</p><p> </p><p>'' I promise you. Promise me you will call too if it gets too much or too lonely. I will see you as soon as I return home. Take care of yourself''</p><p> </p><p>'' You too. Now do you mind if I leave my things here for a few more minutes? I need to go see the Jackson's and Cody before I go''</p><p> </p><p>'' Of course not. I'll be in the shower. I'll miss you but take care of yourself'' He places a soft kiss against my forehead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I left the locker room finding Cody backstage telling him I would be leaving. Despite him not being as close to the Elite as he was in the last moments of their existence, he is still one of the person I love and admire the most. I would feel terrible leaving without telling him at least goodbye and thanking him for his concern over the past 6 months.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I then found myself moving toward the Young Bucks locker room but stop when I notice the familiar two toned hair curl right around the corner. At his sight, it's like everything stop, time, my heart, my breath and my brain. He's alone, title over his shoulder, looking different than last time I saw him up close, the time he told me he didn't need me and that there was no hope for us to ever be how we used to be. He looks, almost small, defeat, I would even dare go as far as sad. A part of me wants to walk to him, hold him, kiss him, tell him I love him but the other part of me is afraid that I'll just end up leaving even more hurt. Before I could even react and move out of his possible sight, he turns around freezing when he sees me standing there. Time, breathing, thoughts and heart still stopped unable to move, unable to do anything. From where I'm standing it's almost as if he's feeling the same. It's like nothing exist around us but for some reasons it's not in a good, we're falling in love for the first time, kind of way. It feels like both of us want to speak, want to move, just want something to happen but we're both afraid of it. For seconds, minutes, we are staring at each others or at least I think he's looking back at me, his aviators still acting as a barrier between us right now. I want to shake him and scream at him <em>to drop the glasses</em>, <em>to open his eyes and look at me. Just wake up Kenny, just open your eyes. </em>I know what he knows, if he takes them off, I'll see everything I need to know, which, could either end up in painfully right or achingly wrong. The small voice in my head is just screaming for me to tell him goodbye, tell him anything but for some reasons I just can't, afraid that my voice will break.</p><p> </p><p>'' Alex? Kenny?''</p><p> </p><p>'' Nick hey''</p><p> </p><p>'' You guys okay?'' he says standing beside me looking toward Kenny.</p><p> </p><p>'' Actually I was making my way toward your locker room. I needed to talk to you and your brother, if you don't mind''</p><p> </p><p>'' Never''</p><p> </p><p>'' Right let's go''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I completely ignore Kenny quickly passing beside him and making my way toward the boys locker room. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when I step inside, Nick following closely behind.</p><p> </p><p>'' What happen out there?''</p><p> </p><p>'' Nothing, my brain froze or die I'm not sure. There is so many things I've wanted to say, wanted to do but I just couldn't, didn't. I hate myself for this. This might have been my last chance to tell him everything I want him to know and I failed, let it slip through my fingers''</p><p> </p><p>'' Baby girl what's wrong?''</p><p> </p><p>'' Oh right, I'm leaving''</p><p> </p><p>'' WHAT?'' they both said in unison.</p><p> </p><p>'' I'm leaving, for a few weeks, months I don't know. I need space, I need to breath but most importantly I need to heal. I can't get better if I just keep getting worse every time I see him. I'm going back home. I need to put the shattered pieces of my heart back together. I can't do that here. I just keep getting worse and worse every week and I can't keep suffering not over someone who doesn't care or pretend he doesn't care I don't even know anymore''</p><p> </p><p>'' Baby girl we'll miss you''</p><p> </p><p>'' I know guys. I will miss you too. This isn't goodbye forever, I am never far away. Call me, text me, shall you ever need me and I will walk if I have to just to be by your side. You guys are family and nothing will ever change that. Me, you, Hangman, Cody we're family. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. If you ever need me, you'll know where to find me. I love you guys''</p><p> </p><p>'' We love you too''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I hug both brother tightly before making my way back to Adam locker room. When I got there he was out of the shower so I hug him tightly again before grabbing my things and leaving Daily's place for the last time unsure of when, <em>if</em>, I would ever return.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">Matt POV</span>
</p><p> </p><p>I'm fuming into our locker room, pacing back and forth trying not to punch something or someone.</p><p> </p><p>'' I can't believe that manipulating, lying, backstabbing piece of shit succeed in making her leave. That he broke her and Kenny up it's a thing, that's she's leaving because of that bald head piece of trash, I can't. We need to do something Nick''</p><p> </p><p>'' What do you want us to do Matt? We can't force her to stay. We don't want to hurt Kenny either''</p><p> </p><p>'' He needs to wake up''</p><p> </p><p>''I agree''</p><p> </p><p>'' So let's do just that. Let's go give him a wake-up call and hopes he gets his head out of Don's ass''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I open the locker room door ignoring Nick. I walk, a new fire and determination in my bones, toward Adam locker room banging on the door. He opens it seconds later a worried expression on his face.</p><p> </p><p>'' What's the hurry?'' he says as Nick appears beside me almost breathless from running after me.</p><p> </p><p>'' Need you to follow me so we go give Kenny a well needed wake-up call. It's been going on for too long''</p><p> </p><p>'' Count me in''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I turn around not even caring if they are following me. We walk toward Kenny's locker room not giving a fuck if he would be alone or not in there. I open the door as he stands up, backing into a corner when we step inside.</p><p> </p><p>'' Guys... I...''</p><p> </p><p>'' You don't get to talk Kenny Omega. For once in the past 6 months you will shut the fuck up and listen. You need to wake up. You need to stop letting this manipulative piece of shit you call your uncle dictate your life''</p><p> </p><p>'' He cares guys''</p><p> </p><p>'' He doesn't care Kenny. He only cares about himself. If you weren't so fucking blind you would know that by now. If you would know what caring means you would know that we do, that she does and that he doesn't'' Continue Nick.</p><p> </p><p>'' You guys don't know what you're talking about''</p><p> </p><p>'' We don't? Who was there in Japan when you were a mess? Who was there when you felt like you lost yourself, on your bad days, when you wanted to give up? Who was there for you Kenny? We were, she was, he wasn't.'' says Adam.</p><p> </p><p>'' If he cares so much about, why hasn't he realize how miserable you've been this past 6 months while I, we realize it in the space of 2 minutes. Because he doesn't care Kenny. He never did and he never will'' I tell him.</p><p> </p><p>'' It's time for you to wake up Kenny. You're going to not only end up loosing us and everybody you once care about but you will end up loosing yourself and you can't let that happen. You're better than this Kenny, you deserve better than this'' adds Adam</p><p> </p><p>'' You've already lost the best damn fucking thing that you've ever had because of him. Are you ready to lose everything else without a fight? Is that what you've become? I hope not. You're better than this Kenny Omega. Stop letting him walk all over you and stand up for yourself. Not for us, not for her but for yourself. Take matter into your own hands. Don't let him destroy you'' finishes Nick.</p><p> </p><p>'' Guys... I'm...''</p><p> </p><p>'' Save it Kenny. We don't want to hear it, not tonight at least. She's gone because of you, of him. The best damn thing you've ever had is gone because you're letting him destroy everything around you. I swear, if she never returns because of you, there will be hell to pay. One of the most amazing women in the world is gone and this is all you're doing, his doing. Is it really everything you've hope for? I know you already know the answer to that question don't you Kenny? One little piece of advice, wake up, open your eyes Kenny, open them before it's too late''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>We left the locker room hoping that this would be enough. Time will tell.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">Kenny POV</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Gone? She's gone? All because of him, because of him? The person who knows me and understands me better than anyone in this world gone? What have I done?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is base on the song Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Look into my eyes, they will tell you how much I love you</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is based on the song When you look me in the eyes by the Jonas Brothers</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>When you look me in the eyes,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And tell me that you love me</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Everything's alright</em>
  <br/>
  <em>When you're right here by my side</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When I hold you in my arms</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I know that it's forever</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I just gotta let you know</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I never wanna let you go</em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Kenny POV</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The numbness I am feeling inside as the blood is pouring down my forehead. A part of me feels nothing inside as their fist and those weapons are hitting my body. Yet I feel some kind of hope inside. For the first time in months, ever since she left, I'm finally feeling something. After she left I throw myself into this persona of mine. Erasing everybody around me. I lost myself the way they said I would, the way they hope I wouldn't. I didn't deserve to be fine, to make it out of this mess. I lost her, them and I didn't think I could ever deserve love or kindness again so I continue to let him manipulate me because I didn't know what else to do. I let him destroy me slowly and now that he finally got everything he wants out of me he's taking the trash out. Karl and Luke are beating me senseless. I can feel myself drift between consciousness and being dead or at least feeling dead. I can faintly hear Don voice barking orders as they keep on beating me feeling just nothing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At this point I am not even trying to defend myself. Why would I? I deserve everything that's happening to me right now. As the beat down continue I start feeling even more light headed. Nobody is here to save me. No one should come out here to rescue me if I am honest. I turn my back on the only people that care about my well being for a selfish man that only cares about himself.</p><p> </p><p>'' You're nothing without me Kenny Omega'' I can hear Don voice scream.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He's right, I am nothing. I deserve everything that's happening to me. I am nothing without them. All of sudden a different sound reach my ears. The faint excited roar of the crowd. The beating stops but the blood keeps flowing and my consciousness keeps slipping away. I slightly flinch when I fell a warm hand on my face. I, however, feel my body relax when I hear the reassuring voice tainted of worry of one Matt Jackson.</p><p> </p><p>'' Stay with us Kenny''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If I had enough strength in my body I would cry right now. My friends, hopefully I can still call them that, coming to my rescue. Perhaps I will not end up alone after all. As quickly as the feeling came the warm hand on my face is gone. I can see from the corner of my eyes both Bucks receiving a beat down at the hands of the Good Brothers as Don is laughing in the background.</p><p> </p><p>'' You're all worthless. You are nothing without me. Nobody can save you now Kenny. Your friends are hurt because of you once again. You did this to them. This is all your fault.''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Another roar of the crowd. This time I can see way too familiar golden locks in my peripheral vision. Adam, the person I never expect, on screen at least, to come out and fight for me. After everything I've done to him, he shouldn't be here. He should protect himself from the possibility of getting hurt again but no, he's selflessly fighting for me, that is until he gets attack by Luke and Karl. If I had any strength left in my body I would try to crawl toward the Jackson or Hangman but my body refuse to move too weak from the lost of blood. The Elite is on the ground, in pain, bleeding, helpless yet feeling more important, more real and stronger than ever. The Good Brother focus their attention on me once more and this time the roar of the crowd getting louder than it previously did. What's happening? I don't understand who would come out for me. I don't really see Cody come out here and fight for any of us. Not that he doesn't care, of course he does, but it just wouldn't make any sense. So who's out here? <em>That person</em>, whoever she is, is standing inches away from Don face screaming at him. I see, even through the blurriness, Luke and Karl hesitate to lunch an attack on <em>my savior</em>. Luke doesn't look to please to see whoever that person is but Karl, he's showing something different. Maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me but I can almost see in his eyes a feeling of happiness, if that makes sense, as he looks back at <em>the person</em> standing in front of them. As I focus my attention on the person, who's back is facing me, I notice long black and red hair. I know nobody with this color of hair, or at least not that my brain can remember of. What happen next made the arena goes into complete silence for a few seconds, the echo of the slap <em>that person</em> just deliver on Don face, sounding louder than anything I've ever heard, that is until the crowd erupts in cheers at the motion. As the Good Brothers get ready to strike on that person, Nick, Matt and Adam are back up on their feet beating the hell out them, Don rushing out of the ring with his tail between his legs. <em>My savior</em> turns around and focus their attention on me. I am officially dead and gone to heaven or I've been hit in the head too hard because there is no way that what I am seeing is real. <em>She's</em> here. After months of being gone, <em>she</em> is finally here. Not for me, <em>she</em> can't be here for me right? <em>She</em> just happens to come out and save her friends and because <em>she</em> cares, somehow, about me <em>she's</em> checking on me to make sure I don't die. It has to be it right? <em>She</em> isn't here for me, <em>she</em> can't be here for me. Someone will pinch me and I will wake up soon realizing it's all a dream. There is no way this is all real. This can't be real.</p><p> </p><p>'' Kenny are you still with me?'' I feel her worry voice ask me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I focus myself on <em>her</em> for a few seconds, minutes, I don't know anymore. Take it all in Kenny, this isn't real. <em>She's</em> not here. You lost too much blood and it's your imagination playing tricks on you. I then feel a warmness on my face spreading through my body. I can feel with a single touch of <em>her</em> fingers my body healing, metaphorically of course. This time, my body react finding a strength I didn't know I have left. The tears are spilling all over my face. That must make a hell of a sight with the blood still flowing slower now. Everything hurts, my body, my heart, my head, everything. I feel myself come back to life under <em>her</em> touch. None of this is real but savor it while you can because once your mind stops playing this trick on you it might never happen again or at least that's what I keep repeating myself.</p><p> </p><p>'' Kenny please stay with me. Focus on me. You're going to be okay, this is going to be okay. Please stay with me'' <em>She</em> says the tears falling almost poetically out of her beautiful green eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I softly feel her thumb caress my cheek wiping the blood or the tears, probably both, I am not sure. She then leans down close to my face the warmness of her breath making everything feels right for a few seconds.</p><p> </p><p>'' The doctor will come to check on you. They need to get you out of here. I will be by your side all along. You are not alone. I am not leaving you Kenny, not again. I am here for you and I am here to stay. You will be okay. We're here. We're a family. We love you, I love you. This is going to be okay. We're going to be okay.''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Matt and Adam are both helping me up on my very unsteady feet as the doctors are hovering near by in case something happens to me. They're both helping me out of the ring carrying me backstage as Nick, an arm wrap around Alex, are following us into the backstage area and the doctor office. From the moment I lay on the exam table everything goes black.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I could faintly hear sounds returning to my ears again or more like whispers around me. I am however, still too weak to open my eyes.</p><p> </p><p>'' It's good to have you back again sweetheart''</p><p> </p><p>'' I'm happy to be back. I should have never left''</p><p> </p><p>'' This might sound rude or I don't know but you leaving was the best decision. You were slowly killing yourself staying around. You were better gone than here''</p><p> </p><p>'' I know you're right Matt but this wouldn't have happen if I stay''</p><p> </p><p>'' It would still have happen love and you would have been caught in it somehow and you could have been hurt too. Trust me everything is better this way'' says Adam this time around</p><p> </p><p>'' Also, I'm very glad to see you back but like, why the hell were you thinking coming out there?''</p><p> </p><p>'' Hey my friends needed me, he needed me. Not because my wrestling career ended early with this damn knee injury that I will not come out when my family needs me. Those assholes weren't stupid enough to lay a finger on me and if they were then they would only bring their death date closer. I doubt they want that happening.''</p><p> </p><p>'' Fair enough. Love the hair by the way''</p><p> </p><p>'' Why thank you''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything feels and sounds so normal. Why do I feel it won't be the case when I let them know I'm awake? I guess we're about to find out.</p><p> </p><p>'' Can you guys keep quiet while I'm trying not to die here?''</p><p> </p><p>'' Hey there asshole how are you?'' I see the smiling, no smirking, face of Matt appear over me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly I'm surrounded by all of them, my family, everything feeling just right for the first time in about a year.</p><p> </p><p>'' My head hurts, like a lot, but everything else just feels amazing. You guys are here and I'm finally free from all this mess. I know nothing is fixed between all of us, I know there is a lot of work to do and a lot of trust to earn back but I have hope everything will be okay in the end or am I wrong?''</p><p> </p><p>'' I can't speak for the rest of them but I wouldn't have come out there if I didn't want all of this to go back to the way it used to be'' says Adam.</p><p> </p><p>'' Yeah Kenny, we wouldn't have taken that beat down if we didn't want you back into our life'' adds Nick.</p><p> </p><p>'' We're family Kenny and no asshole will ever change that. Sure there is a lot of things we need to talk about but I'm tired of fighting. I just want things to go back the way it use to be. All of us against the world right? That's how it should always be. You're back now, you're home and there is nothing that can ruin this now. As you said, you're free so let's be a family again. We love you brother''</p><p> </p><p>'' I love you guys too. Thank you for coming out there tonight. I was sure I was going to die alone, the way I deserve too but you guys prove me wrong and for that I will be eternally thankful. Words can't begin to describe how sorry I am for everything''</p><p> </p><p>'' Not now Kenny, it's been a long night. We'll talk eventually but tonight you deserve some rest. Let me help you up''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The three of them help me sit down slowly and then stand up when the room stop spinning. As I try to stay steady on my feet I feel my knees give up on me and I fell against Adam body. He wraps his arms tightly around me trying to steady me.</p><p> </p><p>'' It's okay I've got you''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At those words I break down in tears. I hold onto him tightly afraid it's all a cruel joke and that they won't be there when I wake up tomorrow morning. All of sudden I am hug from all side by the men I consider brothers.</p><p> </p><p>'' If you guys were planning to leave me out of this then next time warn me so I don't come out there and possibly making my knee worst. I'll remember that''</p><p> </p><p>'' Stop being annoying and get in there''</p><p> </p><p>'' Asshole'' she playfully says to Matt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She steps in between Adam and Nick joining us into our group hug.</p><p> </p><p>'' This is much better'' she says.</p><p> </p><p>'' This is long overdue you mean?''</p><p> </p><p>'' Hey it's not my fault he decided to be an asshole longer than we all expected him. Blame him for that not me'' She says a playfulness in her eyes as she looks at me something beautiful shining into her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>'' She's not wrong you know. Now let's get you to the hotel Omega''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I walk beside Adam as he supports most of my weight as we walk back to the hotel just a few building away from the stadium. Behind us Alex and the Jackson just exchanging banters with each others Adam occasionally jumping into their conversation. For my part, I am staying silent just absorbing all the love radiating from all of them. Feeling happy and like my life can finally be normal for the first time in a year. We reach the hotel and they drop me to my room. Nick, Matt and Adam all hugging me tightly before leaving my room. I sit down on the edge of my bed feeling drain but hopeful. When the door close I let out a breath I didn't realize I've been holding before. I feel the tears burn my eyes before they roll down my face. Being alone I can finally all these emotions out. Turns out after all I wasn't as alone as I expected. I feel a presence in front of me and I look up my eyes landing on the worried yet loving eyes of Alex.</p><p> </p><p>'' Hey there''</p><p> </p><p>'' You stayed, why?''</p><p> </p><p>'' I told you earlier I am not going anywhere Kenny. I'm never leaving you again. This past year as been terrible but I just can't keep on pretending that everything is fine or better without you because it's not. There is so much we need to talk about, so much that we need to take care off but I don't want to keep going without you. So, if you'll have me, I'm here to stay. I told you all along Kenny that when you would need us we would be there with our arms wide open. Tonight is proof of that. We are much better all together. Not only us as a group but you and I as well. I'm not asking you to come back to me and for us to date once again, at least not now. I don't know how you feel about all of this and I wouldn't want to force this on you so quickly but I want you to remember that I love you more than anything. If that is also okay with you I would like to stay here tonight. I'll take the other bed but I don't think you should be alone tonight. I know how you tend to get and I want to be there for you if you need someone. Would that be okay with you? If you want me to go I will but I thought I should offer''</p><p> </p><p>'' Please stay. I don't want to go one more minute without you. I don't want to be alone. Promise me you will stay'' I ask her my voice so low I'm afraid she's not hearing me.</p><p> </p><p>'' I promise you Kenny'' She steps in between my legs wrapping her arms tightly around me as I return the gesture my arms finding refuge around her waist. I press my forehead against her chest letting the tears out once more. I feel her fingers moving into my locks so softly as if they are the most precious thing in the world. I feel a soft pressure against my head as she lays hers on top of mine while whispering encouraging words.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For a while that's the position we found ourselves in none of us really ready to move but knowing we'll have to eventually. I push her away slightly looking into her eyes as I let out a small gasp at the sight in front of me. Care, love, everything someone could ever dream of seeing, right there into those eyes.</p><p> </p><p>'' I'm so happy you're here. You have no idea how much I've missed you. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. You deserve so much better than everything done. I don't know what I've done to deserve someone as wonderful as you in my life but I am very thankful you're here. You deserve the world and I don't think I can offer it to you but the fact that you're here and that you care. It's so much more than I deserve and I promise to do everything in my power to give you the life you deserve. I love you Alex. Thank you for believing in me, for never giving up on me. Thank you for returning into my life. You're my everything. I love you. I love you so fucking much''</p><p> </p><p>'' I'm here to stay Kenny. I will never let anyone or anything come between us every again. Promise me something. Promise me that if something bothers you or you feel yourself slipping away that you will talk to me. I don't want to lose you, lose us ever again''</p><p> </p><p>'' I promise you. Losing you is one of the worst thing that ever happen to me. I am sorry. I love you''</p><p> </p><p>'' I love you so much''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She steps closer to me and meet me half way as I chase for her lips in hope of a kiss. As they touch, everything inside of me start healing. My heart is beating normally, the voices in my head are quiet, the wounds left on my soul just slowly closing. The scars left on my body just slowly healing themselves with each lips movement, with each unspoken words. Everything just finally feels right. As we pull back, the need for air becoming vital, I see into her eyes the love and care I know she's capable off giving and feeling like it only belongs to me. As I see my reflexion into her eyes everything suddenly feel right. There is still a lot of work left to do to return to where we used to be but with them and especially her by my side, everything can just be right. In a mutual silent agreement both of us decided to go to sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I woke up the next morning the event from the previous night replying in my head. I open my eyes praying that this wasn't all a dream and that she is indeed back in my life. As I open my eyes, a huge smile appear on my face as <em>my miracle</em> is peacefully sleeping facing me. I stay in my position just enjoying the sight of her next to me. After I don't know how long I see her eyes slowly open as she realize where she is. A smile just appears on her face as she looks at me. Without asking her for it, she just press her body closer to mine her head resting in the crock of my neck her breath sending shivers down my spine. I wrap my arms tightly around her body placing a soft kiss on her forehead.</p><p> </p><p>'' I've missed this being by your side, waking up into your arms. I should have fought for you when everything start going south. I should have fought for us. I'm so sorry''</p><p> </p><p>'' Never be sorry for anything my love. I doubt I could have let you fight for me very long. You gave me a lot of opportunity after that to return to you and I never did. Letting walk out all these time was a mistake and one I never want to repeat. However, all that matters now is that you're here with me. We found a way to move back into each others life just like you say we always would. We're together now and that's all that matter. We'll find a way, all together, to make them pay for what they did to us. We're a family again and nothing can stop us now. You and I we have each others, hopefully forever. I love you Alex more than anything in this world''</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The rest of the day just end up being Alex and I cuddling in bed occasionally being join in our room, mostly for room service, by The Jackson brothers and Adam, as well as Cody and Brandi at some point. I can see in their eyes that everything will be okay, that we are a force to be reckon with. Nothing and no one will stop us. Everything is finally right. I am finally me.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much to everybody who read this story and comment on this. I hope you appreciate it. In the next few weeks I will begin a short Hangman Adam Page story so I hope you will be reading it as well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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